If you broke down the unconscious process you go through to achieve a state of fear, you would be presented with an opportunity to change one or two steps so that you could experience another emotion instead. However, since most of our processes (also known as strategies) are out of conscious awareness, it's a challenge to accomplish.
Knowing every step you take to experience an emotion can allow you to alter the process. Why would you want to alter the process? So you can experience something more productive, like curiosity or determination instead!
Here's a good way to look at it:
Imagine you wake up to the alarm at 6:30 every morning. You press snooze twice, get up, shuffle to the bathroom, take a shower, get dressed, eat, and go to work.
This is a process you follow every work day. However, if you changed one aspect of that process, a small or a very large shift in the outcome would occur. If you chose to eat first, then shower, you probably wouldn't notice much of a difference. If you put your clothes on first, then took a shower, then ate... well, let's just say you'd certainly have a different experience!
Earlier today, I examined my own process of laughing. I asked myself, 'What steps do I go through before a laugh occurs?' I searched the web for funny pictures and here's the breakdown of my steps:
1. I see an image
2. The image reminds me of something in my past. I make a picture of that new image in my mind
3. I see how both images relate to one another and realize the humor from the past image also applies to the current image
4. I feel my chest tightening
5. The corners of my mouth curl upward
6. I experience a tickling in my chest
7. I laugh
The above example is one of the many ways I experience laughter, though I may have missed a step or two. Otherwise, it basically shows you what I mean by "process". I realize it reads like a textbook, but this is how our mind and body works! The process happens in a fraction of a second and the steps are completely out of our awareness.
Now that I have one of my processes broken down into steps, I am aware of how a laugh forms in my body... at least in this case. It may be different if I watched a comedian on stage or played a practical joke on someone.Now what does all of this have to do with fear? Since fear is also a process, it can be examined and broken down the same way. Some people experience fear in a very similar manner as other emotions. Using the example above, let's look how similar the process of experiencing fear can be:1.You see an image
2.The image reminds you of something in your past. You make a picture of that new image in your mind
3. You see how both images relate and realize the fear from the past image also applies to the current image
4. You feel your chest tightening
5. Your mouth opens slightly
6. Your temperature rises
7. You ____ (scream, run, freeze, etc)
It's amazing how similar they both start, but then fear changes course and goes in a different direction. Of course, everyone is different, and your steps may be completely different depending on the situation. However, like my laughter example, it is a process so it can be altered. If you can interrupt the process before you feel your chest tightening, you may actually be able to feel differently about the situation you’re in! Once the pattern changes, so does the outcome.
Altering a process can be difficult to do on your own, but it can be done. Let's examine how you would find out your process leading to fear:
Start by paying attention to the very first thing that happens when you start to feel fear.
Do you see or hear something?
Maybe you smell something?
When you know, write it down.
What happens right after that? Do you see or hear something in your mind?
Maybe you have a feeling at the same time an image or sound comes to mind.
Note that too. And keep noting each step you take until you are able to map out the entire process.
By the time you are done, you should have quite a list of steps. I didn't say this would be easy. In fact, for someone who's never done anything like this, it may be near impossible! But if you keep at it, you will find that you actually do things inside your mind and body before you experience any emotion, not just fear.
Once you know the steps, you’re already on your way to changing them. In fact, the next time you start feeling fearful, you’ll notice the steps actually slow down a bit so that you can examine them to make sure they are relevant to the situation. And as every step presents itself, you may find that now you have a choice on what happens next instead of just waiting for it to happen on its own. And when there's a choice on how to feel fear, there's also a choice on whether to feel fear at all.
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If you find it difficult to learn this process on your own, you'll find it a lot easier (and sometimes necessary) to be guided by someone who is qualified in this area. After all, these processes lie dormant in your unconscious mind until evoked, so it is quite a skill to be able to start feeling an emotion coming on at the same time you are examining the steps you're taking to feel that emotion.
If you have any questions, feel free to contact me!
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